Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day!
Stardate Log – Mother’s Day, 2009; the boy woke his mom up at 550 – he was all happy and just wanted to play. The girl, she slept in until 7am – she was mildly cranky and wanted all of Mom’s attention. Then at 8am, the boy went down for his first nap of the day. Girl still wants all of the attention.
Don't Stop Believing
Last fall, I failed. I failed completely and it cost me a LOT of time and some money. Hours and hours of time and a few hundred dollars.
That was the cheap cost of failure. This failure was so unexpected that I went through all of the stages, or most of them. Denial, Rage, Acceptance, and Defeat.
As I continue to deal with that failure, I have been trying to learn from it. I am not used to it so it has been hard to be positive about it.
My failure was in making a batch of biodiesel. A hobby that typically saves me a couple of thousand dollars each year. Rather, the failure wasn’t in making the fuel, but in making sludge. I didn’t intend to make sludge. I filled my processor with sludge the consistency of thick pudding. Color of chocolate. Chocolate pudding.
As I look back on my failure, it was interesting that I had no fear of failure. I had been successful in making fuel nearly a hundred times. I had started taking everything for granted. I knew what I was doing. I knew each step, I knew what the material looked like at each step, I knew what to expect. (As I watched “Meet the Robinsons” with Kat this morning, I agreed wholeheartedly with the line, you learn from failure – success, not so much) When my mix turned to sludge, I started with denial. That lasted a while, about a week. I went over all of my steps in my head. Where had I gone wrong? What did I do? In the end, the only thing I could think of was the vegetable oil was from a new source that I had never tried before and it was bad contaminated oil. I had to assume that was the problem because I couldn’t think of anything else. I wasn’t 100% sure as the oil was mostly used and I couldn’t isolate the oil and get rid of it.
Then came rage. The rage really hit when I had to shovel out the pudding from my processor. That was hard enough to work with but then I had to disassemble all of the hoses, pumps, valves and tubes and clean them out. These are all parts that are sealed together so that they won’t leak. Sealing everything does not lend itself to taking it apart. Yeah, I raged all right.
And still, I wondered, did I miss something? Did I have bad oil or did I do something else? In my mind, I accepted it. That had to be it.
The weather turned cold not long after this event, so I wasn’t able to make fuel anyway, it was too cold. All winter long, I collected oil. Jill, who NEVER STOPPED BELIEVING IN ME, (definition of AWESOME wife) encouraged me to keep collecting lots of oil because we would need it come spring. I could make fuel again when it is warmer.
By the time Lent came around, doubt and fear had settled in. I never talked about it, I always carried a positive attitude. (but inside, I knew that I didn’t know for sure what had gone wrong) During Lent, I collected a couple hundred gallons of oil.
The weather in Iowa finally warmed up and I kept hearing of others running their cars on home brew. I on the other hand kept myself busy enough that I ‘couldn’t find the time’. About that time I finally admitted to myself that I was afraid to try. WHAT IF? I was afraid to fill up the processor and make pudding. I was afraid that I didn’t really know what went wrong. I didn’t really know if it was the oil, maybe it was me?
Eventually, I finally worked up the courage to tell Jill what my problem was. I was afraid. She is my best friend. I can tell her everything, can’t I?
She once again demonstrated that she is my best friend. “Kevin, you have made fuel a hundred times. You have been successful for years. Don’t focus on one disaster, focus on your track record. You have made a TON of fuel. Make sure your equipment is clean, use the new oil from Lent and believe in yourself. You really know how to do this, just go and make it.”
So I put one foot in front of the other, so to speak. I got all of the ingredients together to make a test batch (something I should have done last fall) and had everything in place. All that was left was to make test fuel. I still was afraid it wouldn’t work, but I had no more excuses.
Last night I made a one quart test batch. The process is such that you mix it up and have to wait about 8 hours to see if it is working. I found myself not sleeping last night. I was so worked up, wondering if I was making pudding or fuel.
But the important thing is that I did it. I faced my fear and did what I was afraid of doing. To borrow a line from the Robinsons, keep moving forward. I cannot stop with one failure, I have to keep trying.
That was the cheap cost of failure. This failure was so unexpected that I went through all of the stages, or most of them. Denial, Rage, Acceptance, and Defeat.
As I continue to deal with that failure, I have been trying to learn from it. I am not used to it so it has been hard to be positive about it.
My failure was in making a batch of biodiesel. A hobby that typically saves me a couple of thousand dollars each year. Rather, the failure wasn’t in making the fuel, but in making sludge. I didn’t intend to make sludge. I filled my processor with sludge the consistency of thick pudding. Color of chocolate. Chocolate pudding.
As I look back on my failure, it was interesting that I had no fear of failure. I had been successful in making fuel nearly a hundred times. I had started taking everything for granted. I knew what I was doing. I knew each step, I knew what the material looked like at each step, I knew what to expect. (As I watched “Meet the Robinsons” with Kat this morning, I agreed wholeheartedly with the line, you learn from failure – success, not so much) When my mix turned to sludge, I started with denial. That lasted a while, about a week. I went over all of my steps in my head. Where had I gone wrong? What did I do? In the end, the only thing I could think of was the vegetable oil was from a new source that I had never tried before and it was bad contaminated oil. I had to assume that was the problem because I couldn’t think of anything else. I wasn’t 100% sure as the oil was mostly used and I couldn’t isolate the oil and get rid of it.
Then came rage. The rage really hit when I had to shovel out the pudding from my processor. That was hard enough to work with but then I had to disassemble all of the hoses, pumps, valves and tubes and clean them out. These are all parts that are sealed together so that they won’t leak. Sealing everything does not lend itself to taking it apart. Yeah, I raged all right.
And still, I wondered, did I miss something? Did I have bad oil or did I do something else? In my mind, I accepted it. That had to be it.
The weather turned cold not long after this event, so I wasn’t able to make fuel anyway, it was too cold. All winter long, I collected oil. Jill, who NEVER STOPPED BELIEVING IN ME, (definition of AWESOME wife) encouraged me to keep collecting lots of oil because we would need it come spring. I could make fuel again when it is warmer.
By the time Lent came around, doubt and fear had settled in. I never talked about it, I always carried a positive attitude. (but inside, I knew that I didn’t know for sure what had gone wrong) During Lent, I collected a couple hundred gallons of oil.
The weather in Iowa finally warmed up and I kept hearing of others running their cars on home brew. I on the other hand kept myself busy enough that I ‘couldn’t find the time’. About that time I finally admitted to myself that I was afraid to try. WHAT IF? I was afraid to fill up the processor and make pudding. I was afraid that I didn’t really know what went wrong. I didn’t really know if it was the oil, maybe it was me?
Eventually, I finally worked up the courage to tell Jill what my problem was. I was afraid. She is my best friend. I can tell her everything, can’t I?
She once again demonstrated that she is my best friend. “Kevin, you have made fuel a hundred times. You have been successful for years. Don’t focus on one disaster, focus on your track record. You have made a TON of fuel. Make sure your equipment is clean, use the new oil from Lent and believe in yourself. You really know how to do this, just go and make it.”
So I put one foot in front of the other, so to speak. I got all of the ingredients together to make a test batch (something I should have done last fall) and had everything in place. All that was left was to make test fuel. I still was afraid it wouldn’t work, but I had no more excuses.
Last night I made a one quart test batch. The process is such that you mix it up and have to wait about 8 hours to see if it is working. I found myself not sleeping last night. I was so worked up, wondering if I was making pudding or fuel.
But the important thing is that I did it. I faced my fear and did what I was afraid of doing. To borrow a line from the Robinsons, keep moving forward. I cannot stop with one failure, I have to keep trying.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Visitor IRL!
I called the phone number in the email, the one that advertised "Hot COED science majors will visit you"... Sure enough, a week later she showed up... As she eased herself out of her swanky sedan?
Wait a minute, I am confusing this story with a dream I had 20 years ago.
Actually, I am terribly remiss in telling the story of being visited by the Microblogologist from Iowa State. And while she is a very lovely co-ed science major, and I did call her, none of the entire visit was as sordid as the story I started to tell.
MicroBloggy emailed that she would be in the neighborhood (sort of)and that if Kat and Kyle were willing, she would stop by and visit them. She made sure they asked their parents if it was Okay, first. Well of course it was Okay with Wife and I so on the day she was to arrive, Blogology lady arrived at our house precisely at the time she said she would. Kat took one look at her and decided to play 'shy' for the evening. This resulted in me talking MB's ear off all evening long.
Wife and I bribed her with supper and conversation on a wonderful Friday night and stayed up past our bedtime to talk to her about everything under the sun. Wife went so far as to make blueberry banana walnut bread in order to make sure that MB was fed and nourished. (Funniest thing in the world, I actually heard wife utter her mother's nag "if you go hungry, it is your own fault! we have plenty of food here!")
In all honesty, it was the most exciting Friday evening that wife and I have shared in years if not decades. Adult conversation with someone neither of us was married to! It doesn't get much better than that! We talked about family, politics, gun control, and, um, lots of interesting stuff that I cannot remember.
All I really remember is that I was so happy to have company that I don't think I shut up the entire time MicroWoman was here.
I want to thank her for coming to visit and letting us know that there are real people connected to these blogs. We really enjoyed having her over for dinner and Kat wants her to come back again this summer.
Wait a minute, I am confusing this story with a dream I had 20 years ago.
Actually, I am terribly remiss in telling the story of being visited by the Microblogologist from Iowa State. And while she is a very lovely co-ed science major, and I did call her, none of the entire visit was as sordid as the story I started to tell.
MicroBloggy emailed that she would be in the neighborhood (sort of)and that if Kat and Kyle were willing, she would stop by and visit them. She made sure they asked their parents if it was Okay, first. Well of course it was Okay with Wife and I so on the day she was to arrive, Blogology lady arrived at our house precisely at the time she said she would. Kat took one look at her and decided to play 'shy' for the evening. This resulted in me talking MB's ear off all evening long.
Wife and I bribed her with supper and conversation on a wonderful Friday night and stayed up past our bedtime to talk to her about everything under the sun. Wife went so far as to make blueberry banana walnut bread in order to make sure that MB was fed and nourished. (Funniest thing in the world, I actually heard wife utter her mother's nag "if you go hungry, it is your own fault! we have plenty of food here!")
In all honesty, it was the most exciting Friday evening that wife and I have shared in years if not decades. Adult conversation with someone neither of us was married to! It doesn't get much better than that! We talked about family, politics, gun control, and, um, lots of interesting stuff that I cannot remember.
All I really remember is that I was so happy to have company that I don't think I shut up the entire time MicroWoman was here.
I want to thank her for coming to visit and letting us know that there are real people connected to these blogs. We really enjoyed having her over for dinner and Kat wants her to come back again this summer.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Stop the MADNESS!!
Seriously. No, really, I mean it. THANK GOD IT IS FRIDAY! If I have one more emergency clown race at work I think I am going to lose it.
The latest one was along the lines of...
"Kevin, QUICK! Here are 20,000 lines of data! Match them all up to the best skittles color! By 5 pm! Hurry - I have a hunch, and I want you to validate it!
Don't whine about the rest of your job - JUST GO GET SKITTLES'
The latest one was along the lines of...
"Kevin, QUICK! Here are 20,000 lines of data! Match them all up to the best skittles color! By 5 pm! Hurry - I have a hunch, and I want you to validate it!
Don't whine about the rest of your job - JUST GO GET SKITTLES'
Sunday, April 26, 2009
new behavior
So I walk into the livingroom where wife has squawk on her chest, they are both napping. I see a size 4 diaper on the floor and Kat is running around, playing.
At first I thought Kat had pulled a new diaper from the box and opened it up and brought it into the room.
Then I realize that she has taken off her diaper and is running around in just her sleepshirt, no diaper.
I didn't find a puddle, but I don't like where this is going.
Loren @ sweetenedtaters has me scared.
At first I thought Kat had pulled a new diaper from the box and opened it up and brought it into the room.
Then I realize that she has taken off her diaper and is running around in just her sleepshirt, no diaper.
I didn't find a puddle, but I don't like where this is going.
Loren @ sweetenedtaters has me scared.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Help from Bloggerville
Help!
I have 3 weeks to come up with t-shirts for eleven great grandchildren (not mine) in honor of my G'Ma's birthday.
We are having a big get together (kegger family reunion) and we want all of the grandkids in shirts in her honor.
Microbloggy was here this weekend (IRL!) and told me about a custom shirt shop but I promptly forgot who it was.
Does anyone have any idea where I can get shirts in short notice with "She's my GREAT gramm!"?
In sizes ranging 12year old to 3 months (mine).
I have 3 weeks to come up with t-shirts for eleven great grandchildren (not mine) in honor of my G'Ma's birthday.
We are having a big get together (kegger family reunion) and we want all of the grandkids in shirts in her honor.
Microbloggy was here this weekend (IRL!) and told me about a custom shirt shop but I promptly forgot who it was.
Does anyone have any idea where I can get shirts in short notice with "She's my GREAT gramm!"?
In sizes ranging 12year old to 3 months (mine).
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
kids
Sunday night, I couldn't WAIT for the kids to go to sleep. I was exhausted and needed sleep. I didn't have much patience and they were trying what was left.
Monday night they drove me crazy, I couldn't wait to get to work in the garage.
Tonight, coming home, I COULD.NOT.WAIT to get to my kids and get a hug. I wanted to hold my little girl and have her pat me on the back. I wanted to hold Squawker and have him drool on my shirt.
I had to work late tonight so I found myself racing, impatient at stop lights, trying to get home to see them both before bedtime.
I was so lucky. I got to come in the door and Kat greeted me with "DADDY!" as she raised her arms. "Pick me up, please" she said to me. I was more than happy to oblige. "I am so glad you are home" she whispered in my ear, "Now you can read me a story!"
I got to spend the 30 minutes before bed with her, playing, tickling, laughing.
I put her in jammies and read her a story, then put her to bed.
Now I get to wrestle the boy from Jill and put him to bed.
How strange, some nights they get on my last nerve. Other nights, I want to give them everything I have, because I need every bit of them.
Monday night they drove me crazy, I couldn't wait to get to work in the garage.
Tonight, coming home, I COULD.NOT.WAIT to get to my kids and get a hug. I wanted to hold my little girl and have her pat me on the back. I wanted to hold Squawker and have him drool on my shirt.
I had to work late tonight so I found myself racing, impatient at stop lights, trying to get home to see them both before bedtime.
I was so lucky. I got to come in the door and Kat greeted me with "DADDY!" as she raised her arms. "Pick me up, please" she said to me. I was more than happy to oblige. "I am so glad you are home" she whispered in my ear, "Now you can read me a story!"
I got to spend the 30 minutes before bed with her, playing, tickling, laughing.
I put her in jammies and read her a story, then put her to bed.
Now I get to wrestle the boy from Jill and put him to bed.
How strange, some nights they get on my last nerve. Other nights, I want to give them everything I have, because I need every bit of them.
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