Tuesday, August 25, 2015

It has been a while

the Girl started 3rd grade and the Boy started 1st.
Wife and I are taking life one day at a time.  Her job is challenging more than enjoyable.  Mine is challenging and enjoyable.  Neither one of us have the same jobs.
Life is pretty fantastic, tho.  No one is in the hospital and wife and I both have jobs.  Not too far from the 1 percent in this country.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Another extraordinary day

I got home from Oregon around 1130 Thursday night. I had just driven a little over 100 minutes from the airport. While I tried to unwind, I read the weather forecast for the weekend and tried to plan what we would be doing.

I miss my family so much I want to spend every waking second with them until I have to fly away again.

69*F with some rain, some sun, some clouds.

Fantastic! I quickly make plans to keep Saturday as a stay at home day. A couple of weeks ago I took the Boy and the Girl to get their hairs cut. When the Girl was on the chair she informed Lisa that it was a Stay at HOME Day! The best kind of day.

So today has been unremarkable in its fantastic-ness.

We worked in the garden. Gave Max a bath. Chased the Chickens and gave them hugs. Searched for eggs all over the yard, in the coop, in the shed, under the bush. Darn chix won't lay in just one place.

We all took naps. Boy and I took two, we needed them. We have had multiple family hugs, where we all pile on top of one another and wiggle and squeeze. Or we stand in a tight group and squeeze.

We have had some drama, some tears, lotsa laughter, some Halloween candy, leftovers, and lots of hugs.

As much as possible Wife and I have distracted each other if we start to think about the stress of our jobs; both of which are very demanding as she travels and I put in long hours. If Wife notices a serious look, she distracts me with a pun or she tells the kids to tickle me. It works out well.

Mom stopped by with new clothes for the kids and we took time to take pictures for Xmas cards. Thank God for her keeping track of us.

I don't take today for granted; we are so blessed with riches beyond imagination. I pray for more days just like this one.

Thank You!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Middle of the night

It's been about 54 weeks since the longest night of my life.
Some things are easier. The days are busy and the evenings are busier.
The kids are growing so fast and expanding their worlds as much as they can.
Life is certainly an adventure and every day has experiences that both make me smile as well as roll my eyes.

Home from work late last night, Boy came out to say goodnight and give me a hug.
He crawled up on my lap and buried his face in the hollow of my neck.
"Give me a big hug", I said and he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.
I squeezed him back only to hear, "buuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrp" beneath my ear.
He pulled his head back with a huge grin, looking into my eyes.

Life is so precious.

Then it is 3am again.
I wake up to a dream. Again.
I see myself continuing chest compressions as I yell.
I see the biggest blue eyes I have ever seen; a blank stare not seeing me.
I wake up. My mind a destructive tornado of thoughts that swirl around.
Vignettes of that afternoon. Songs from the radio. Projects at work.
Happy tears that what woke me up was a dream, only a dream that has the happiest of endings.
In spite of knowing the ending that is all good, I still see moments from that day - they flash before me.
Calming my mind to fall back asleep is beyond the discipline of my mind.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

The baby bed

Who knew it would be so hard to take down?

A close friend of Mom offered us a twin bed if we would take it out of her house before her next open house (she is trying to sell her house). So we loaded up the kids and went to get it. Kat was over the moon with excitement... I don't know who said anything to her but she KNEW it was for her! Her BIG GIRL BED! Kat was all about getting rid of the little girl bed so she had NO problem giving it to Kyle.

In order for Kyle to get a new bed, we had to get rid of the baby bed that he had been climbing out of for a month. NBD, right?

I pulled the bed out so I could get to all of the screws and bolts and Wife came in, saw what I was doing and choked up. "He's not a baby anymore." That caused me to choke up because it hit me. My little snuggler, my little guy is growing so fast. No more can he be the little baby. He has given us a roller coaster of a year this year and while he almost didn't grow any bigger, he is. He is growing up and we don't have any little babies at home any more.

Wife looked at me across the bed with a tear on her cheek and said, "maybe we should have another one so we can have an adorable little baby at home." THAT gave me pause. While I miss the idea of having a little one at home I am not looking for another little one to expand our family. While I might have a hard time with my little boy growing up, I am not planning on having kids every two years to keep that loving feeling in my heart.

Then I took apart the bed.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Benefit of Swimming lessons

I am not sure what the benefit really is.
Friday afternoon we suited up both kids and took them into the pool a little early. I walked through the locker room hand in hand with the Boy and when we turned the corner and could see the pool he stopped dead in his tracks and started crying. I tried to reassure him that he was going to have fun and he had nothing to worry about and come on, lets go out and see the nice instructors and find Kat and try to have fun.
Just then, he saw Kat run into the pool (btw, zero entry pools= the best pool entry ever) and he chased her into the water. He was up to his knees chasing Kat and looked like he was having fun for maybe 20 seconds before he realized that he is scared of the water. Or hates getting wet or whatever it is that runs through his brain and makes him stand there and cry.
So then we proceded with the swim lesson.
Which isn't so much a lesson as it is an effort to help him realize that just being in the water isn't so bad. To be honest, he has moments where he is either distracted or forgets that he thinks that he needs to cry constantly and he smiles and looks like he is having fun. He splashes the instructor or throws the ball or watches other kids playing catch and you can see he wants to play catch, too. But then he remembers that he doesn't like water or wet or whatever it is and he stands there an emits an ongoing cry with his runny nose while he gently moves his arms and splashes the water.

And really - it makes me kind of crazy.

Because while I desperately want him to like the water as much as I do. And I have visions of me and the boy snorkling someplace cool like Hawaii or Key Largo or really anywhere because snorkling is a blast. Then maybe take scuba lessons then we could dive all of the cool places in the world.
It makes me kind of crazy because so far what he has learned (maybe a little) in swim lessons is that maybe he doesn't need to be constantly afraid of the water. That just maybe that isn't the theme music from JAWS that he hears when he sees a body of water larger than the plastic cup full that he is about to throw on the dog.
So while maybe he has learned that water itself isn't so horrible, what I don't see him learning in the remaining five days is how to hold his breath. I don't see him learning how to roll over and float and keep his nose out of the water. I don't see him completing the circle of skills that says water isn't necessarily bad, but you need to develop skills that makes it not bad. Like holding your breath or learning to float or staying out of it when it isn't safe.

Because this is what really is making me crazy.

I cannot watch him for every minute of every day. I cannot stay attached to his hand or within the circle of safety all the time. There are times I leave the house and go to the store. There are times I take a shower. There are times I am on the computer or cooking supper or doing laundry or taking a nap.
He is so fast. He wants to be independent. He wants to explore the whole world that he can see as well as everything he cannot see. He wants to do it by himself so he appears to plot as to when no one is looking so that he can take off and find out what makes the grass green or the birds fly or what is over that retaining wall ledge or under that porch. He has no concept of danger or safety or fear. Not even of water, it seems. (Still)
And he should.
Explore, that is. Every little child I have ever met has wanted to explore and understand everything around in this enourmous world.
I just need him to do it safely. To not break an arm climbing a tree. To not fall off a retaining wall or deck. To not get stepped on by the cow in the pasture next door.
So that the next time he falls in the water, he will hold his breath until he can get himself out. Not try and drink the entire pond.

Monday, July 11, 2011

NOW the boy takes lessons!

Last month Jill and I researched swim lessons for the kids. We found the local pool offers 45 minute lessons, 5 days a week for two weeks... 3 and under, then 4 and above.

Katerina has declared to everyone that SHE is going to become a MERMAID! I think she is looking forward to it.

We aren't sure WHAT Kyle thinks. We have tried explaining to him that he is taking swim lessons and he doesn't react much. We have had Kat explaine to Kyle that he will be taking swim lessons and he tackles her. Since he tackles her almost daily, we didn't read too much into it.

We started looking into lessons because Kyle had been increasingly upset whenever we put him in the bathtub and we were concerned he was having flashbacks or some such thing and we didn't want him to be afraid of water.

So tonight was the first night. Since he has been a bit of a mothers boy lately, Jill got to sit with him during his lesson and I took Kat to the wading pool. Kat spent more time watching Kyle than she did wading. Then again, I spent more time watching Kyle than watching Kat. Throughout the lesson the instructors were great. When Jill first took Kyle into the water, the instructor noticed that he didn't want to go any farther in than his ankles. She came over and talked to Jill to find out what his experience has been with water. After that she stayed with Kyle for one on one instruction for the entire lesson. After the lesson was over for everyone else, another instructor came over and worked with Kyle for an additional 15 minutes. During this time, Kat and I went into the pool and used Katerina to motivate Kyle to step a little deeper into the water to give Kat a hug, which he did. He was willing to walk into water up over his waist in order to hug his sister. After the lesson, the instructors played catch with him so that he could associate having fun with the water.

I hadn't realized how tense I was until he got out of the pool and we dried him off. I think all of us took a big step tonight.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Girl turns FOUR!

First, I want to let everyone know that the Boy is doing great! All we notice about him is that while he LOVES to splash in the water, he doesn't like to get IN the water... As we have signed him up for swim lessons next week, I hope he gets over it pretty quick.

Next, as the post reads, the girl has celebrated another birthday. I have been traveling almost every other week for quite a while and I got home from my latest trip ON her birthday. She was so excited to see me and could not wait to tell me that she was having a BIRTHDAY!
A couple of days later we had the grandmothers over along with the sisters and her cousins. And of course Grand-Pop Francis. Grandma Pat outdid herself with a pink cake that had a real Bar-B sticking out of the center of it. Girl's eyes got huge when she saw her cake. As you can see from the picture, we had homemade ice cream to go with the party. We topped off the afternoon with a water balloon contest that resulted in the kids getting all wet.
We continued the celebration on the 4th by going to her favorite park, then to a old time rendezvous to see a tee pee and settlers. Then it was off to see Grandma Sandy at the rodeo along with some cousins. A very full day for both of them.