I love Kat. I may be overwhelmed by her at times. OK, most of the time. It is still sinking in that I am responsible for growing a person. ME. I cannot even organize my desk at work. And I am supposed to grow a responsible adult? This should be interesting. Anyway.
I love spending time with Kat. Last night she fell asleep curled up in my arms on my lap. She looked so peaceful. I held her til Wife came and got her and put her to bed.
On Tuesdays Wife has class in the evening. So I take Kat to daycare and get to pick her up after work on Tuesdays. I get to be primary caregiver for an evening. It is fun. I feed her and play with her, change her and put her to bed. (although tonight she did NOT want to take a nap. she fought her nap til she was really hungry, then after she ate she STILL did not want to go to sleep. her eyes are all red rimmed and she looks so tired)
During the day today a work acquaintance asked if I had plans this evening. So I told him about how I get to pick up Kat and spend the evening with her. Feed her, play with her, spend the evening with her. I kind of talked about it a bit, how much I enjoy it and how I was looking forward to my evening with her.
The co-worker looked at me and said, "Oh, I didn't even know you were divorced."
I thought this was pretty strange. Then I thought about what it means that people think this way. Is it that unusual that a dad looks forward to spending his evening with his daughter? Does an evening described taking care of Kat need to imply that there is no Wife/mother in the picture? That I am a single dad or that I have joint custody of my Kat?
I went on to explain that Wife has class on Tuesdays and that this is one way I support her schooling.
But I still think it was a strange reaction.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
School lunch program
Yesterday, I had class. Operations Management in the morning and Business Strategy in the afternoon. For OpMan we took a plant tour of Penford Products, courtesy of Lonny G. It was pretty interesting. 10+ years ago I used to deliver to that plant when I worked at Fastenal. Anyway, it was 1030 when the tour got over. About half the class decided we would go to lunch at the local Mexican diner. When we got there at 1045 we found that they didn't open until 1130. We knew we were early but didn't want to go anywhere else. Looking around the back, I found the owner, his wife and daughter were there getting ready for the days business. I told him that there were a dozen people out front who wanted to snack on chips and drink and would rather not drive away. He quickly agreed to open and soon we were seated at a group of tables pushed together, eating chips and drinking 'ritas.
These are people that I have been going to school with for the last 18 months and with a couple of exceptions, I hadn't really talked to any of them. Soon we were talking about our families, where we worked before, why we were in school. One couple, taking their classes together, were celebrating their five year anniversary that day. He grumbled that they were spending it in school. Someone mentioned that they had celebrated their 40th birthday by working all day and taking their final exam last September. I had celebrated my 40th by taking two midterms the year before. Another classmate related a tale of her anniversary last fall where, after a long day of classes, when she got home her husband swept her off to the casino for a night of entertainment. Though she was very tired she had a good time. Michelle stated that her spouse was QUITE ready for her to be done with school. We all heartily agreed. All of us and our spouses are ready for us to be done with school.
In that two hour lunch, I laughed 'til I cried, got to know some really good people and a bit of their backgrounds, talked about Wife and Kat, talked about marriage and money and children, and just had a really good time. While I am ready to be done with school, I am glad that I have gone through with it. I REALLY appreciate the Rock for picking up the tuition. All in all, I wish every school lunch could have been that fun.
These are people that I have been going to school with for the last 18 months and with a couple of exceptions, I hadn't really talked to any of them. Soon we were talking about our families, where we worked before, why we were in school. One couple, taking their classes together, were celebrating their five year anniversary that day. He grumbled that they were spending it in school. Someone mentioned that they had celebrated their 40th birthday by working all day and taking their final exam last September. I had celebrated my 40th by taking two midterms the year before. Another classmate related a tale of her anniversary last fall where, after a long day of classes, when she got home her husband swept her off to the casino for a night of entertainment. Though she was very tired she had a good time. Michelle stated that her spouse was QUITE ready for her to be done with school. We all heartily agreed. All of us and our spouses are ready for us to be done with school.
In that two hour lunch, I laughed 'til I cried, got to know some really good people and a bit of their backgrounds, talked about Wife and Kat, talked about marriage and money and children, and just had a really good time. While I am ready to be done with school, I am glad that I have gone through with it. I REALLY appreciate the Rock for picking up the tuition. All in all, I wish every school lunch could have been that fun.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
concentrate on who is important
I have a very active imagination. I prefer books to movies because what I picture in my head is much more realistic that what movie format is limited to.
This is not a benefit when you wake up in the middle of the night to some discomfort and feel a lump.
Until you can get to a DR, imagination is not your friend. In fact, imagination races about a littl faster than the speed of thought.
It was a long 36 hours.
During that long 36 hours, it took intense concentration to visualize erasing my mind and replacing all thoughts with the image of Kat. Or Wife and Kat. Imagine. Erase. Kat smiling at me. Imagine scenarios. Erase (mentally wipe a board clean so it is white) Picture Wife smiling at me, holding Kat. Kat giggling when you tickle her tummy. Imagine what if. Erase. Kat laying on my chest, smiling, grabbing my nose.
This has been a difficult week. I am trying to figure out what I want to do differently. I want to be meaningful, appreciated for my efforts. I have stuff to get done so I can clear time to raise my family. When HP sends you a little message to get your attention, pay attention to the message. HP leaves it up to you to act. We are in control of our destiny.
And the doc said it could be a couple of things. It might have lasting effect. We will watch it for awhile. Hoping for the best, but even the worst isn't life threatening. In that context, it is no big deal.
No excuse!
I have been pretty busy lately. My blogging is one of the first things to go. I have been working on issues at work and trying to control my own destiny. Since I am not CEO, it is not as easy as I would like. But I work at it. I want to be able to really enjoy what I do and sometimes it is hard to enjoy interdepartmental politics. And controlling your leadership. Anyway.
School has been taking up quite a bit of time, when I am not working. I just finished midterms/ papers. Now I have two more weekends of class and one week of classes everyday (4/7-11/08) and I will be done. April 11, 2008. Around 430 pm. I am really looking forward to it. I met with my study group tonight. After two hours of working on one problem, we are most of the way thru understanding it. So now we can solve it. Tomorrow we meet for another two hours to discuss and outline our paper.
On a side note, someone posted a sign the other day that read "your teacher can always tell when you have done your homework on the bus on the way to school." This makes me laugh because someone who is a pretty good procrastinator told me that there is nothing wrong with waiting til the last minute, as long as you get it done on time. Last Friday I started my paper around 2pm. It wasn't due until 8AM Saturday. And I had class all evening. So I wrote most of it between 1030 and 1AM. (Which was kind of convenient cuz Kat was sick and not sleeping well. So I could go and put her back to sleep and let Jill sleep.) I already have my grade back for that paper, 100%.
This is completely opposite of Wife, who always works ahead. If she isn't a week ahead of her schoolwork, she tends to get a little cranky. A couple of weeks ago, I got a sitter for the day and invited Wife to go to a movie with me, get out of the house for a bit. I got turned down because she wanted to work ahead in Algorythms. Hmm. I knew I ranked below Kat, but below homework?
BTW, I am one of the few people I know that really like snow. And while I might be getting a little tired of hiring the Bobcat to come and clear my drive, I hope we set a new state record for snowfall this winter. I am really hoping for at least another 16 inches on April 7, 2008. As long as it is gone by April 11.
School has been taking up quite a bit of time, when I am not working. I just finished midterms/ papers. Now I have two more weekends of class and one week of classes everyday (4/7-11/08) and I will be done. April 11, 2008. Around 430 pm. I am really looking forward to it. I met with my study group tonight. After two hours of working on one problem, we are most of the way thru understanding it. So now we can solve it. Tomorrow we meet for another two hours to discuss and outline our paper.
On a side note, someone posted a sign the other day that read "your teacher can always tell when you have done your homework on the bus on the way to school." This makes me laugh because someone who is a pretty good procrastinator told me that there is nothing wrong with waiting til the last minute, as long as you get it done on time. Last Friday I started my paper around 2pm. It wasn't due until 8AM Saturday. And I had class all evening. So I wrote most of it between 1030 and 1AM. (Which was kind of convenient cuz Kat was sick and not sleeping well. So I could go and put her back to sleep and let Jill sleep.) I already have my grade back for that paper, 100%.
This is completely opposite of Wife, who always works ahead. If she isn't a week ahead of her schoolwork, she tends to get a little cranky. A couple of weeks ago, I got a sitter for the day and invited Wife to go to a movie with me, get out of the house for a bit. I got turned down because she wanted to work ahead in Algorythms. Hmm. I knew I ranked below Kat, but below homework?
BTW, I am one of the few people I know that really like snow. And while I might be getting a little tired of hiring the Bobcat to come and clear my drive, I hope we set a new state record for snowfall this winter. I am really hoping for at least another 16 inches on April 7, 2008. As long as it is gone by April 11.
Friday, February 15, 2008
It matters to me
Sunday afternoon I flew to S.Jose. Wednesday evening I got to see Kat for the first time in days. I was SO PUMPED to see that little smile. And to welcome me back properly, she waited til we were sitting on the couch bouncing and playing. She grinned at me..... And barfed. Again. "Welcome home, Daddy"
Fast Forward to Thursday night.
Not once. She didn't spill on me once last night. I fed her, played with her, changed her, bounced her, hugged her, and let her fall asleep in my lap. Not once did she barf on me. I realize that one day doesn't make a trend. But it might be a start.
Fast Forward to Thursday night.
Not once. She didn't spill on me once last night. I fed her, played with her, changed her, bounced her, hugged her, and let her fall asleep in my lap. Not once did she barf on me. I realize that one day doesn't make a trend. But it might be a start.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Never Lost
Well, hardly ever.
I am in S. Jose today where it is a sunny 68 degrees. After a slightly frustrating morning I decided to head back to the hotel. And rather than rely on a map I trusted myself to find my way back, much as a carrier pigeon finds its way home. And I did. Admittedly it took an hour to find the hotel. and I had to backtrack to the office. It did take an additional 20 miles to make a 4 mile trip. I drove around tonight afterwork, trying to re trace my lost route. I came to the realization that I drove around in a circle, always making a left turn because I thought THAT was the interstate I didn't want to go past.
Ever been in S.Jose? Or any big city in CA? There are about eleventeen different overpasses and underpasses and make a passes in this town. But every time I came to one, I turned left (hey, made sense at the time) because I didn't think I wanted to go beyond that one.
I normally do have a good sense of direction. And I can usually find my way back somewhere if I have been there once. But "I ain't as good as I once was" (to quote T.Keith)(Hey, there is another word that doesnt' follow the rules - I before E except after C unless it sounds like RAIN, just like weird).
Where was I? Oh, yes. While I still have a pretty good sense of direction I got to enjoy the LONG way back to the hotel today.
I understand it is snowing back in Eastern Iowa. Sorry 'bout that. I am not exactly comfortable here, either (another one!) First, I cannot pick up and snuggle Kat. On the bright side, this is TWO days in a row that she has not barfed her supper on me. Second,I cannot snuggle with Wife. That is tough. We have snuggled just about everymorning between snooze alarms for 14.6 years. Third (hold your tears) The Air Conditioning in the hotel isn't as good as I would like. Kinda loud and a bit warm.
More later, I am off to the pool, er, gonna do homework.
I am in S. Jose today where it is a sunny 68 degrees. After a slightly frustrating morning I decided to head back to the hotel. And rather than rely on a map I trusted myself to find my way back, much as a carrier pigeon finds its way home. And I did. Admittedly it took an hour to find the hotel. and I had to backtrack to the office. It did take an additional 20 miles to make a 4 mile trip. I drove around tonight afterwork, trying to re trace my lost route. I came to the realization that I drove around in a circle, always making a left turn because I thought THAT was the interstate I didn't want to go past.
Ever been in S.Jose? Or any big city in CA? There are about eleventeen different overpasses and underpasses and make a passes in this town. But every time I came to one, I turned left (hey, made sense at the time) because I didn't think I wanted to go beyond that one.
I normally do have a good sense of direction. And I can usually find my way back somewhere if I have been there once. But "I ain't as good as I once was" (to quote T.Keith)(Hey, there is another word that doesnt' follow the rules - I before E except after C unless it sounds like RAIN, just like weird).
Where was I? Oh, yes. While I still have a pretty good sense of direction I got to enjoy the LONG way back to the hotel today.
I understand it is snowing back in Eastern Iowa. Sorry 'bout that. I am not exactly comfortable here, either (another one!) First, I cannot pick up and snuggle Kat. On the bright side, this is TWO days in a row that she has not barfed her supper on me. Second,I cannot snuggle with Wife. That is tough. We have snuggled just about everymorning between snooze alarms for 14.6 years. Third (hold your tears) The Air Conditioning in the hotel isn't as good as I would like. Kinda loud and a bit warm.
More later, I am off to the pool, er, gonna do homework.
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